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Mon, Jan. 17th, 2005, 11:32 pm
I can't figure out why the people who are most important to me hold me in no regard at all.
Oh thats right... I always give something and get absolutely nothing in return. I have a wedding to go to tomorrow. I have no date because my first date decided to go camping then my second date is in Cancun. I am lucky cause I have an awesome roommate who is going to go with me. Our airconditioning broke so it is super hot in here all the time. I hate super hot. Today I found a note that my ex-boyfriend wrote in one of my notebooks a long long time ago. Now this isn't one of my regular ex's that I got over and are friends with or aren't but are at peace with it... this is THE EX. Like, the ex of all ex's. We dated for four years and we were so in love. But I went stupid for a while and messed things up. He is a police officer now and I swear in a second I would date him again. But whatever... His note was about the three top reasons we should be together. They made me cry (well, almost... cause I don't really cry).
Fri, Jul. 23rd, 2004, 02:12 am
I love how true those results are!!! ;)
I am grumpy... I am procrastinating and it is making me grumpy. One of my roommates and I decided to try our luck at bingo tonight, and we lost. Booo on Bingo. I was even double fisting it with the dabbers!! Craziness. Everytime my Winamp plays a song I don't like I delete it. I was so excited to see my friends who had been in Europe for like ever!!! Over 6 months seeing beautiful things I can't even imagine. Anyway, I finally got to see them and got so sick from their special weed and the wine James and I shared that I puked for over 2 hours in Daves bathroom. Heheh... it was like I was 18 again. Three cheers for a 24 year old who can't hold her weed or alcohol. Boys are dumb anyway. I have one boy who wants to be my boyfriend, and as soon as I tell him maybe he is an asshole. I am not really wanting him to be my boyfriend as I do already have a boyfriend that I love but he is so wrapped up in other thoughts that I think he forgets to think about me sometimes. He is the smartest man alive tho, so I have to forgive him :) Right now I have a paper due for my summer class and it is a good paper, really interesting to write, but I have writers block and Marc is trying so hard to help me. IT is so cute. He may move back to Windsor, that would be craziness... it would be really really nice to see him everyday. I feel so overwhelmed so often that him and his calmness can always fix things. I had the worst rugby practice today too... it just really really sucked. I love the sport but I hate when I feel dumb and today my coach made me feel really dumb. I have a game on Saturday but it is at noon, 3 hours away from here. I have to be at a wedding at 530. I am going to be cutting it close. I miss home. I am going to end this now... night :)
Want to hear the stupidest story ever??? I am seriously pissed off now... And it is soo freakin' stupid. There is this girl who asked me to borrow a couple of shirts, now this doesn't happen very often because I am like 6 feet taller then all my friends so not much can fit them... hehe... Anyway, I told her she could, but then I remembered that the shirt she wants to borrow is the one that I plan to wear the very next morning to an event I must attend. The reason it is that it is the nicest shirt I have and I have to look very nice. So I mentioned it to one of my friends that I have to tell her I can only lend the other girl one of the two shirts she wants and instead of just thinking nothing of it, she calls the girl who wants to borrow the shirt to say that she can't have it because I don't trust her with it. Nice... very nice... so now my friend is mad at me, and won't believe my explanation and this is so stupid. On a more positive note it is my birthday on the 27th... yay!!! And I get to go home and see my boy, and I get to re-unite my dog with her dad cause she misses him... and I get to see my family and get out of Windsor cause I am kinda sick of it right now. Anyway, it is late and I am tired so goodnight all... just wanted to vent.
Sat, Mar. 13th, 2004, 01:31 am
not happy
So today was a good day but also kinda sad. And actually kinda bad. I had to be on the train at 6am (which meant waking up at 5am) to be back in the t-dot for my hair appointment. I have crazy ass hair that I only trust one hairdressor to cut. So I get to the place nad they didn't have my appointment booked... but that didn't matter because my hairdressor was sick!!! I trusted another lady at the same place and althougth I am not forced to wear a hat for the next 3 months I have a feeling the women she usually cuts hair for are all in their 30's or 40's but seriously stuck in the 1980's. It is a good thing that I LOOOVEE retro. Marc dropped Lady off tonight and she has no idea why he left her. We went for a nice walk outside and he hung out here as long as he could but then he really had to go. Our family is broken and I don't like it. I can't believe how sad I am that he left. But like, he was only here a little bit. Oh well... poor lady. I love my dog tho... I think she is better with me. But he was so sad and she is so sad.
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Sat, Jan. 3rd, 2004, 09:10 pm
I miss Marc... I was supposed to go there tonight but I am not ready to go back yet. I have added NO MORE PROCASTINATION to my list of New Years Resolutions. Here are a few I have come up with so far: 1. Take out the trash... 2. Draw lines, lots of lines, pretty lines... 3. No More Ex Boyfriends 4. No More Caring About The Ex's Of My Boyfriend 5. See if Procastination can fly because it is going out the window 6. Go out more 7. Make a study schedule and stick to it 8. Keep Rugby training a number 1 priority 9. Eat all the food in my freezer before buying any more 10. Not cry everytime I have to throw something out/give to Salvation Army/give to a friend... etc. I have way too much stuff and it is time to face the fact that I CANNOT keep it all 11. Make more time for my boy 12. Walk Lady every night for at least 1/2 hour I think I can do it!!!
Tonight we went for dinner on the Danforth to this awesome greek restaurant. It was Andrea, Scott, Trevor and me. It was so nice, but very weird. See, Andrea and Scott are all good and having their baby and getting married and moving in together... and Trev and I? Nothing. And you can tell it is still kinda hard for him to be with me in situations like that. Although he had a good time. It is really hard for me to be with him in situations like that. His brother just got engaged too... Being a cop has made him bitter tho. K, I can't write anymore.
I went to New Market last night and saw Lord of the Rings. I told Marc that I can't go back because that place is tainted for me. He said that I was there first and it is ok... Whatever... I never liked New Market anyway. Trevor had family there and I used to go and visit them with him. My cousin and aunt lived there for the longest time. I have family in Oakridges still but I am glad there is no more in NM. I am sleepy, Marc and I were up kinda late.. hehe.. then he woke me up very early. I got a bit of a nap in before I had to go but I have been crazy tired all day. I was so tired that he offered to drive me to my dentist appointment, which is an HOUR away, because he was afraid of the state I was in. I slept hte whole way there and the whole way back, stayed a bit longer, then went home. Marc used to work at this fast food place during breaks from school and his ex still works there. She told him that they didn't want him back, then his other ex who also works there told him that the first girl was a freak and of course they wanted him back. I told him if he steps foot in that place I would be gone for good. Too Jerry Springerish for me. I haven't got any of my marks back yet and I wish I could because I am really nervous. K, I am going to make this an early night.
 You're ELEGANT sexy! You have a tasteful style, that not only draws attention to you, but gives you respect. Your style is more graceful than that of others. What kind of sexy are you? [For girls only! With Pics! Finally Finished!] brought to you by QuizillaAwww... Marc called the other night just to say he thought I was sexy. That was kinda nice. Then this guy I barely know msn'd me saying he was thinking about my smile and how sexy it made me. That was weird. I don't think I am sexy at all but it made me smile anyway. I feel so gross lately. I haven't really worked out much because of exams so I went from rugby practice 3x a week and games at least once a week to got to the gym 4-6x a week to absolutely nothing... ewww... I put on weight.
I should be sleeping... I have to get up in 1 hour and 51 minutes to drive in my sunfire to my home where my parents and sister and friends are awaiting me. I was supposed to leave yesterday but I just couldn't do it. I am kinda excited now. My Aunt Susie is in a wheel chair and paralyzed on her left side because of a stupid doctor not realizing that she needed a CAT Scan after falling at work. This happened a long time ago, like maybe 13 years ago, when she was only 32 years old. But it ruined her marriage and now she has to have 24 hour nursing care and can't do a lot of stuff... She is luckier then a lot of people tho, the doctors wanted my Grandma to take her off of life support because they said she would be a vegetable forever... She is DEFINITELY not a vegetable. She can even use the internet now and although she has no short term memory and can't really think before she speaks I think it makes it even better cause she was sooo kick-ass funny before the accident, now she is hilarious. Anyway, I make her CD's now of her favourite songs and bring them when I go home to visit. I forgot this time to make it and I am so tired. I was freaking out cause I have been so frustrated all day and that just pushed me over the edge... but because of Marc I am still here. He told me to send him the song list and he downloaded all the songs and said by the time I visit him tomorrow the CD will be made. He is so sweet. I am kinda happy about visiting tomorrow. We are going to see Lord of the Rings - The Return of the King. It is fitting because we saw all the LOTR's together and I am glad that we are back to being good with each other so we could see it together this time. I don't think it would be right any other way. Lady knows that we are going somewhere... she has been excited all night. I love my dog. She is my best friend. She follows me everywhere... Awww... My friend Peter just called... he is so funny. He wanted to make sure I was ok cause like driving at 5am is a problem for some people. I think I might just drive now. k, I am out
Sat, Dec. 20th, 2003, 04:09 am
Marc is home and so far so good. I don't really like when he gets high cause I am afraid he is going to start getting high all the time and lose it like before. A lil' weed now and then is all good... but with him it is different. He scares me and I think he scares himself even more when he is high. I went to the bar and found myself wondering if he would show up. I knew he wouldn't, but I kept looking at the door. Shannon and I had a freakin' great time tho. We went to Rush, then Big DIcks, then Twig and Berries, then The Liqour Box. The same guy owns the last 3 mentioned... can ya tell? We hootched it up a bit. Shannon had asked earlier if she was showing too much cleavage and I said, you can never show too much cleavage... we are both quite well endowed if ya catch my drift. I had a few drinks and had some bought for me. I haven't had to pay for drinks in at least the last 4 or 5 times going out so I didnt really feel any pain paying tonight. The guy that tried to take me home a few weeks ago was there... Wow, he is hot. I thought he was ugly that night and now I am kinda kicking myself for not going through with it... hehe.. no not really. Even tho he is hot, lines like "I can make you soo wet" just don't do it for me if we haven't even kissed yet. He is a bouncer at one of the bars I went to and as soon as he saw me he ran and told all his friends something that had to do with me cause Shannon saw them point. I wonder what they said... at least I know I didn't do anything :) Lady and I are going home soon. I have 2 papers to finish first. I think I am hiding from Christmas. Windsor is cool tho... maybe I will stay forever. Shhh... don't tell marc but I have been sending out his resume to computer places in detroit so he can move back and be with me... He was my best friend for 5 years. No matter what happens, I can't forget what he was there for me for. He was there when my God-mother was murdered, he was there when I had crazy-ass boyfriends who did things to my mind that still hurt to think about. He was there when I got my hair straitened for the first time, and when I got Lady and when I dropped a jar of applesauce on my laptop and it cracked the screen and I was really pissed. K, goodnight all.
Wed, Dec. 17th, 2003, 06:23 pm
Undecided
The last few days have been interesting to say the least... a lil' emotional, a lil' harder then usual, but interesting. ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) ligh moved out yesterday. For good? Forever? I donno. It is just really sad. Lady keeps going into the empty room and looking around. She doesn't understand. I can't sleep either. I have 2 papers due tomorrow but my mind is so unfocused I can barely write this entry. I had to deal with a mouse in the house... poor mouse. Last night I took a girl from my rugby team out for her 19th bday cause all her other friends had gone home for Christmas but she was still stuck in rez for a late exam. The guy working the bar paid for our first two rounds of drinks then a few of my friends bought her drinks for her bday. As we were going to leave I ran into the president of our student council, UWSA. His name is Rob and I am on a few committees with him and worked with him planning frosh week for this year. He decided it was his goal to get Jenna very drunk and proceeded to spend a ridiculous amount of money. It was nice though, because he was just doing it to be nice, not because he had any intentions of going home with anyone as he has a girlfriend whom he loves. After the bar we went to the casino then for an "early" breakfast. I got home at 5. I had soooo much fun but as soon as I walked in the door I was scared and had to sleep on the couch. Lady slept on the same couch as me which was kinda uncomfortable, but nice. I was late for work but whatever... It was our Christmas party and I wasn't in a xmas mood today. I still haven't even started my shopping. I am going to end this here with thoughts so far-reaching into my head that I don't even know where I am today. Nothing feels real. I saw the sadest story today posted all over the news. It isn't even that sad, as it is more anger-encouraging, but it is about a car crash where two teens were speeding and it made me cry. I donno why exactly...
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sleepy
crazy
energetic
nostalgic
cranky
sad
cheerful